Bitching about Ridley Scott's sci-fi epic Prometheus has been declared the new black by the internet.
Enjoyment of the film has been doomed by the sheer amount of pre-release hype and eager anticipation and it's now obligatory to tell the entire internet how rubbish it was and how there wasn't even an alien in it.
'I didn't think it was as good as Aliens,' said one cinema goer. 'Everyone said it was meant to be just like Aliens but it wasn't. It was about some black goo and a massive bald man. My gran could have made a better film than that.'
Internet experts have banned positive reviews of the film, issuing an official statement that at the very least the reviewer must mention the lack of exploration of Noomi Rapace's character's religious beliefs and the tone must be one of baffled disappointment that it didn't feature the creatures from the Alien films.
Meanwhile, there are only 17 people left worldwide who haven't seen Prometheus but news reports suggest they're booked in for the 3D showing on Wednesday at 7pm.
